Twitter recently celebrated it’s 7th birthday.  It’s easy to forget just how old that is in internet years, until you try to find a good user handle and see that all the good ones are not only taken, but also very, very dead.

Case in point: @TVExec

For a project I’m working on, I wanted to find a handle that could be used for a fictional TV executive.  I figured @TVExec  would be taken, and probably even abandoned by now, but I was still surprised to see just how dead it was.

6 tweets. Two followers. Following just one person. Hasn’t been touched in two years.

It’s also readily apparent that this account was created for one purpose and one purpose only: scoring with a porn star.

Assuming he really works in TV in some capacity (hence the Idol and So You Think Can Dance drops), I’m guessing he thought his connection to mainstream media might actually be attractive to her.

First I was upset that this great handle was being wasted… but then I was intrigued.   Is he really a TV exec?  Did the porn star agree to go out with him?  Did she take his money and leave his dead carcass on the bed at a Motel 6 and that’s why he never tweeted again!??!

With concern for his safety on my mind, I now had reasonable cause to dig a little deeper.

All it has for a name is “T. Williams.”  Sadly, the picture is not of Treat Williams.  But if this guy really did want to score with a porn star, I’m guessing he used a real photo. After all, his attempt to sleep with her might be shameless, but it wasn’t dishonest.  The last thing he’d want is for his perfect night to be ruined when she discovers the anonymous twitter troll she agreed to meet isn’t the one she pictured.

A quick Google Image search revealed that the same picture was used on a second, more legit-looking twitter account.

It’s a pretty normal twitter account for guy, mostly tweets aimed at sports writers and whatnot.  Not a proposal to a porn star to be found.  And, as it happens, this guy does appear to have a connection to major TV network.  Interesting…

And this is when I got kinda freaked out.  He roots for the same sports teams I do: the Tampa Bay Rays and Tampa Bay Bucs.  He must be from Tampa.  I’m from Tampa.  Heck, he might’ve even gone to the same high school I went to (if not with me, then with one of my older siblings).  Okay.  This is hitting too close to home.

So I ended my search.  “Mr. TV Exec” if you’re reading this, I hope you and your porn star found true love and she didn’t kill you.  I also hope that one day you may relinquish that awesome twitter handle to someone who might actually use it.

There are some other good, dead handles I’ve come across that are worth a blog post, too. I’ll follow up with them at some point. In the meantime, what are some abandoned Twitter handles you’ve come across that you wish you could use?

UPDATE (6/18/13):  Per the comments below, you’ll see that the real Twitterer has reached out.  He also emailed me.  He seems like a nice guy, so I’ve gone through the post, removing details that could identify him.  It’s also worth noting that as of today, The “@TVExec” Twitter account no longer exists.